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Perfectly Safe Down Here

Lyrics

-Spoken Intro-

Why worry about mushroom clouds

Or skies that glow at night?

Step right in, folks — we’ve got comfort,

Clean air, and fluorescent light!..

-Verse 1-

Step inside and close the door,

Leave the sirens far behind,

We’ve got filtered air and canned éclairs

And peace of mind refined.

Polished floors and numbered beds,

Smiles from ear to ear—

A future bright and concrete-tight…

You’re perfectly safe down here!

-Chorus-

Perfectly safe down here,

Nothing at all to fear,

Steel above and stone around,

The safest spot for miles around.

Perfectly safe, don’t cry,

No more dangerous sky—

Just hum along and disappear…

You’re perfectly safe down here!

-Verse 2-

We’ve got bingo nights on Tuesdays,

Movie reels on Fridays too,

Hydroponic lettuce fresh

And vitamin stew for you!

Clocks are set to “Anytime,”

Sunlight’s painted near—

If you miss the breeze and birds and trees…

Well, hush now, volunteer.

-Chorus-

Perfectly safe down here,

Nothing is breaking, dear,

Hear that little rumble sound?

That’s just comfort underground.

Perfectly safe, we swear,

Fresh recycled air—

If the walls shake once or twice…

That’s just settling, my dear!

-Spoken Bridge-

Now we know you might be wondering

About your house…

Your dog…

Your mother’s fine china cabinet…

But rest assured —

Everything important

Is right here.

-Verse 3-

Some folks say they hear a sound

Like scratching through the hall,

Some folks say the paint is peeling

Off the lower wall.

Some folks say the lights flicker

Like they’re tired of shining clear—

But rumors grow in crowded rooms…

You’re perfectly safe down here.

-Chorus-

Perfectly safe down here,

Why would you want up there?

Sky’s a hazard, sun’s unkind,

Trust the program, never mind.

Perfectly safe, don’t ask,

Questions are quite a task—

Smile for the intercom, dear…

You’re perfectly safe down here!

-Spoken Outro-

If the doors don’t open someday…

That just means

They’re working.